Why there has to be a feminine way to deal with hurt, you might ask? And that is a great question. There are many ways to deal with it generally, and you can easily find them online. However, what makes it different when it comes to ladies, is that for a woman to really grow from it, she has to process it internally.
See, everything that goes through woman will either transform her or leave her traumatized and damaged, until she deals with it at some point. Every situation we find ourselves in, being women, has a potential to transform us, only if we surrender to it and deal with it internally. It means, instead of accepting challenges and actively changing the circumstances outside (masculine way), we take it all in and – important! – deal with it internally, not letting it accumulate in us and form old traumas and diseases (feminine way). This is crucial.
This is also extremely powerful. Because it gives us an opportunity to deal with literally any kind of situations or life events. We become very adaptive and flexible, just like a truly feminine woman should be. We become more grounded, more at peace and thus more content. In a way, we even become stronger than men. Internally. So how should we do it?
6 Ways to Deal With Hurt, Womanly
Here some ways to deal with hurt internally or one-on-one with ourselves, like true women that we are.
1. Crying out loud. What a wonderful way of getting rid of any hurt! It is not only healthy and cleansing for our precious eyes but it is also very easy and rejuvenating. The harder you cry – the better. It is especially good to cry over a hurt when it was just done to you, while it is still fresh. Your crying will be particularly good and effective. Please, do not ever hold your tears. If you cannot cry immediately, let yourself know internally “I will get back to it as soon as I have a chance later today”, and then make sure to cry, sweetly and deeply.
2. Punching a pillow. Now, important note here – it has to be a special pillow for punching only! It is not allowed to sleep on it. You will punch out all your internal negativity into it, so you really don’t want to sleep on your hurt later. Get yourself a pretty pillow for your Punching Hurt ritual, you can even pick a specific image on the pillow, or a color. And it is also very important to not let anyone else use it. It has to be yours only special pillow-for-the-ritual.
You may have an idea by now but pretty much the ritual here is to punch this pillow as hard as you can, until you feel exhausted. It makes it even better if you periodically yell at it too. You can also say out loud to this pillow whatever you want to share with a person, or situation, that hurt you previously. It is simply impossible to forgive someone while having all this negativity inside. So, punch it all out.
3. Talking to water. Very feminine and very magical thing to do. Water easily and readily takes away all the hurt and negativity. Just sitting by the river and looking at it is already therapeutic. If you take a moment and make sure to specifically deal with your hurt, it will be even more powerful. You can sit by the water, and just let it all out – talk to it, cry to it, scream to it. As you speak, watch how water takes away and just pulls it all with the current, far away from you. Make sure to share all the hurtful details of your suffering. Trust me, it works like a magic, I’ve done it many times. And if you don’t have an access to a river, running tap water in your bathroom works as good too.
4. Screaming. Well, this is pretty self-explanatory. Just find yourself a good empty space, and scream it out. It is especially good if your hurt turned into anger, and is already strong and deep. Just scream as much and as long as you can. You are allowed to even swear, if that helps. Everything that comes to mind – scream it out, don’t control yourself. Be as mad and as loud as possible.
5. Writing it out. This is very effective way for women. It is important for us to write about things in general, and when it comes to hurt, it is very therapeutic and effective. Take a piece of paper and a pen, sit down and start writing. It is important to handwrite. It doesn’t work the same way if you type it in on your phone or computer (I tried it – doesn’t work). Put the date there, and then – ready, set, go – keep writing everything out. Just write everything that hurts, bothers you, makes you feel frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, confused, lost.
Now, it is important to stop when your one piece of paper is full from both sides. That’s right. You don’t just keep writing ten pieces of paper in a row. One piece at a time. As you get closer to the end of it, just write that you are about to finish, and put the date again. And then – you read what you just wrote. You will probably feel uncomfortable but it is normal, just let it be. Then, your favorite part – take that piece of paper and burn it! Watch it as it burns, additionally visualizing how all of the stuff you just wrote goes away. Very therapeutic and satisfying.
6. Now, the final and most effective way to deal with the hurt is conscious awareness. It is also most organic and safe, surprisingly. Just take a moment and scan your body. Try to locate your hurt in your body. Where does it “sit”? How does it look like? Register your finding mentally and say “I see you, you are relative to me”. Then, gently take it out from the body and ask “What are you teaching me?” Answers can be unbelievably stunning. If done right, you can not only dissolve this hurt but even understand a purpose of life and that it always leads us to something better. This ritual can be done right at the moment of being hurt, or later when you have time.
Feel free to pick just one, or combine them all. Depending on the level of hurt and how long it stayed in your body, you may need several attempts and several ways. Just find what works for you, and do it every time you have this feeling of hurt inside.
Stay free, lovelies!