I have written once about four women’s states, or feminine archetypes, and how they differ from each other. This time, I would like to share the same concept but from a different system. This concept is based on the Chinese Bazi astrology system and Five Elements: Water, Metal, Fire, Wood, and Earth.
Just by reading this you will already initiate yourself in these energies and realize which one is missing or which one is excessive. That is exactly why I want to write about it and give you an opportunity and another tool to harmonize these elements in your life. Also, by knowing these five feminine archetypes you will be able to choose which one to chose and play with depending on the circumstances, just for fun.
Five Elements and Archetypes
So, each Element corresponds to a certain woman’s state of mind that we call archetypes:
Fire is “Lover”
Earth is “Housewife”
Metal is “Queen”
Water is “Priestess”
Wood is “Girl”
There are five Chinese feminine archetypes and five elements corresponding to them. Of course, there are many more feminine archetypes out there, and different systems and philosophies they come from. I encourage you to research and discover them too. Whatever system you choose, it will only open your mind and soul more. Our ability to use one of the feminine archetypes depends not only on us and our astrological predisposition but also from our environment, people around us, our family, and the situation at home. That is why this overview is general and covers three levels: whether it is balanced, excessive or lacking.
One thing is for sure, and all systems agree on that. Every man wants to have a woman near him who can be all of these archetypes at different times. So the ability of a woman to change them at the right time and at the right place brings happiness not only to her man but to a woman herself. Let’s look at them all. They will be in the order that they can come out as a woman interacts with the world and in her relationships.
Element Wood – “Girl”
This is the most active archetype and state of mind of a woman. In this state, a woman is like a flower that reaches out to the sun. That is why a Girl usually loves herself from head to toes because she does feel like a blooming rose. The Girl archetype represents the inner child of a woman.
This archetype is about development, creativity, and curiosity.
What She Gives To a Man
She gives him inspiration most of all, but also admiration and recognition. That is the state when a Girl looks at a man with eyes full of adoration, as if he is the true knight in shining armor. Of course that means a woman in this state would never try to lecture a man or say something like “I told you so”.
On the contrary, a Girl accepts everything and everyone around her, including her man. She wants to grow, to expand, she is happy and excited about life. So, that tells us that any gifts from a man we usually receive when we are in this state. Including such “gift” as a marriage proposal. Yes, when that happens, at that moment a woman is usually a Girl.
A Girl can adjust herself to a man, she can inspire him and eventually becomes his muse. She is pure, emotional, energetic, and very creative.
What She Receives From a Man
A girl being enough of a Girl receives love, gifts, care, and protection. A man wants to take care of a Girl naturally just because of how innocent and fragile such a girl is.
So if an unmarried woman does not have enough of a Girl energy, she won’t have many men in her life, especially good men. A real Girl will find something valuable and special in every man because she is full of positivity and well, hormones.
Balanced Girl Archetype
A good sign that there is enough of a Girl state in a woman is the amount of gifts she receives. Not even necessarily from her man, in general. From all men. They can be small gifts, but it does not matter. What matters is how often she gets them and that she gets them at all.
Otherwise, if that is not the case, it means that a woman tries to control everything around her too much. That usually manifests as buying things for herself by herself, not smiling enough, and being serious all the time, taking too many responsibilities. She simply does not create enough space for a man. Her sense of joy dulls down and she does not have time or energy for creativity and fun.
A girl in the element of a Wood always tries to be first everywhere. If she has a goal, she will do everything to reach it without stopping even for a second. It is important for her to be first and there is no competition. She is quick and active.
Her mission: to develop and grow all the time, and to share the fruits of her activity – results.
Her occupation: she is busy somewhere where one needs a quick reaction. She has a very high capacity to focus on something strongly. So if the goal does not look appealing she won’t spend any of her time or energy on it. No one can put her in a box and limit her abilities because she is always growing and changing, she does not like the routine.
Men truly love this state of all feminine archetypes and when a woman is in this state. Because imagine how a little girl acts towards her father – she is very loving and tender to him, she is daddy’s girl. She knows how to admire him and listen to him. She gives him a lot of love and attention. So that is the reason why a woman gets married easily when she is in this state of mind. And if a Girl finds another goal or a man who seems to be more perspective, she will turn towards that. So, if her current suitor does not think about marriage and she does, she will leave him for someone who is on the same page as her very quickly.
Lack of a Girl
If there is no “Girl” at all in a woman, that manifests as a fear of cheating or lying. Because when we are young, we are all fearless and usually careless. We don’t think about the consequences of our actions, we are easygoing and just easy in general. This easiness is what makes a girl – a “Girl”. So then if it does not happen and there is fear, a woman starts accumulating hurt inside of her, until there is no more space for joy.
Another indication is that a woman would keep missing out on opportunities. She would feel a lack of creativity and imagination, her spirit would be weakened and she would be very indecisive.
Usually, the lack of this archetype happens when we criticize our men, try to control them, or argue with them. When we think that we are not worthy of love just by the mere fact of existing will also prevent us from having this energy. And one of the most common is when we cannot accept the fact that a man can be right. So, if you don’t have enough patience to simply listen without arguing or instructing, the lack of a Girl is obvious.
Too Much Girl
There is an opposite scenario when there is too much of a “Girl” in one woman. This happens when a grown woman acts as a little girl all the time, otherwise called being infantile. The reason for this behavior comes from a childhood. At some point a young woman came across life difficulties and remembered how easy and simple it was when she was a little girl. So she decided to never grow up. And when she turns 50, she is still a little girl who cannot make any decision herself. Of course, that causes other issues in life: she cannot build relationships, she may have issues in sex life because little girls do not need sex. Virtual or distant communication is enough for her but nothing more. Unfortunately, it is usually very hard for a woman to realize that she has this issue.
How to Find Your Girl
Here is what to do if you feel like you need more “Girl” in your life. The easiest thing – to imagine how an actual little girl is, and maybe observe one. If you have a daughter or a niece, this would be perfect. Notice how easy and naïve she is, how fragile and sometimes even helpless she is. Keep in mind that it is only a state of a grown woman, so don’t forget to still flirt. Try to look like her too – some simple but girly clothes, still appropriate for your age. So something that does not look like an expensive fur coat, but rather a simple jacket or a dress. Yet, you can still have light makeup because little girls love that. Floral innocent lingerie. Manicure, jewelry.
And here is one fun activity to try once you look and feel like a real Girl. Go outside and try at least during one day (better a whole week) approach three good looking men and ask for help or advice. For example, you can ask help carrying your heavy bags. Or you can ask about the closest bakery shop. Ask to open a jar. And then – listen silently and with admiration. Don’t be shy or don’t think it is silly. It may be but it is fun! You are playing and being creative. Of course, thank them all.
Another thing to try, if you happen to not have any remotely attractive men in your area, just practice on any men. Pick a man each day and try to find three things that you like in him – great legs, beautiful hands, stylish shirt, etc.
If you want to be more serious or try more things, here is a list:
❦ Try to learn to be compassionate, tender, and kind towards your own partner and to other people. Look at your partner with eyes full of admiration.
❦ Work on your ability to plan things, set goals and reach them or try reaching them.
❦ Visit places of power for you: that can be a park, a wilderness, a trail, botanical gardens, a waterfall, or a lake. A lot of nature with a lot of trees.
❦ Plant a tree or just any plant and take care of it.
❦ Allow yourself to be spontaneous and direct. Pamper yourself and do everything that you desire, or at least most of it.
❦ Learn everything that has something to do with growth, development, education, healing, or design.
❦ Purposefully work on growing qualities of a Girl that were mentioned in this article.
Next up, one of the feminine archetypes is Lover that is Fire! You definitely do not want to miss that.