Last time we have talked about the Oriental feminine archetype of a Girl where we identified a few things. We have mentioned what element it corresponds to, looked into the relationship dynamics and how the lack or excess of an archetype can be manifested. We will cover the same areas now with a new archetype – Lover.
Element Fire – “Lover”
As a little girl grows it gradually changes and becomes an attractive and sensual young woman. However, we need this energy and this archetype at any age of our life. This young woman is sexual, stylish and graceful. This is the energy that can easily attract men’s attention and can create new connections. The Lover knows how to flirt, and her main life motto is “Be the best”.
This archetype is about passion, activity and enthusiasm.
The feminine archetype of a Lover is also about public recognition, being the center of attention, lots of communication, and all kinds of activity. Think sexual socialite. So because of that, all housework is not for her because it makes her dull and dims her light. Sometimes the Lover can be impulsive and sarcastic, and very emotional. Since it is the element of a fire, as much as she can warm you up at the beginning, she can then burn you in the end.
As I mentioned, this is the type of energy that is very attractive for men. However unfortunately as easily as they get attracted, they do not consider such women for serious long term relationships. So, it ATTRACTS a man but it cannot KEEP him because only one sexuality is not enough. That is why we need other archetypes.
What She Gives To a Man
At this archetype, a woman gives out a lot of her energy, especially with intimacy. So she gives a man a lot of passion, desire, pleasure. She turns on a real male in him, as in macho and hunter, because she herself is a real female. Of course, that also means the brains of a man do not really work at that moment because there is no place for common sense or logic here. In this sense, this feminine archetype has a masculine energy by default because the direction of the energy here is external (by giving everything), active, and very Yang.
What She Receives From a Man
When a woman is in the feminine archetype of a Lover, she receives attention, his desire to possess her, his feelings of being in love, and of having her around all the time. It is important however to understand that being stuck in this archetype and following the corresponding behavior does not guarantee all of these “benefits” for a long time. On the contrary, it will deplete a woman and she eventually becomes an empty vessel. You cannot always give.
Balanced Lover Archetype
It is pretty simple. If a feminine archetype of a Lover in woman is balanced, such woman is always busy and is never single. Everyone sees her, wants her near, and chases her. The key to keep this state balanced is to turn your Lover state off from time to time. So, it does not mean that once we attracted a man, we can stop being a Lover and never come back. That is definitely wrong. Do not forget that this type of energy maintains sexuality and passion in the couple. But sometimes it is good for a woman to step away from this state and charge herself before she comes back to share her energy with her partner again.
Lack of a Lover
A lack of a Lover happens when a woman becomes invisible. So, contrary to when it is balanced. When she enters the room and no one notices or talks to her, that means such a woman lacks her Lover energy. Sometimes this can be the quality of introvert and a woman may be comfortable with that. That is fine if this is the case. However, if being unnoticed makes her unhappy, the lack of the feminine archetype of a Lover is obvious.
Too Much Lover
When there is an excess of a Lover archetype, this makes a woman easily available or too available. There is a high risk here to turn into a promiscuous girl because the main energy that drives a woman and attracts men has fire nature, and it is sexual energy.
How To Find Your Lover Archetype
So what to do when we are out of balance with our inner Lover? To activate this feminine archetype, the first thing to try is to sit down and ask yourself “What kind of a lover am I?” Start playing with your lingerie and underwear. Instead of comfortable or practical, pick one that is beautiful and sexual, erotic looking. It has to be sexual specifically for you, especially if you are single. Wear it and notice how you feel – sensual, attractive, and playful? And it does not matter if no one sees it.
If you are married, create an unforgettable evening for your spouse. It should include candles, fruits, music, maybe some wine or champagne, learn some simple erotic dance and wear sexy lingerie, or maybe don’t wear anything at all. Please, don’t be concerned about your body. Trust me – we are far more concerned about it than men. If you feel like you have something extra somewhere, a lot of men love that. They love curves and round shapes because skinnier women are often colder, unhappy, and more closed emotionally because of strict diets and self-deprivation of sweets. Men do enjoy cute, funny, and happy women who know how to enjoy and have pleasure and give pleasure to men.
If you are very young, go somewhere where people dance, and try to observe men. Make sure to wear something attractive, especially that sensual lingerie, and make some eye contact. Optional and more exciting thing to try – to not wear any lingerie at all and still make eye contact or even talk to someone. Be careful to not create excessive Lover here and have a one night stand. This is not what we are going for, this is an experiment.
Here is a list of things to try to that will help you bring out your Lover archetype and balance it:
❦ Try to break the image of being invisible. So try everything that will help you stand out and be bright and the real girl of Fire. Wear clothes that will show off your beautiful features tastefully, not overly provocative or vulgar.
❦ Simply put – just wear more dresses, skirts and heels. All of these things are clear to everyone and carry the same message right away – “I am a woman”. Tomboys or unisex can be trendy but that is not feminine, that does not say “woman”. All men subconsciously divide everyone to women and people. Which one do you want to be? You don’t have to wear heels all the time (that is actually not healthy and not necessary), but you should definitely have them in your wardrobe.
❦ Try to be out more, don’t stay at home all the time. And go specifically to places where you know other men might be. And it is good to learn to just communicate with them, listen to them, notice what they like, and learn to accept their admiration of you.
❦ Try to also just be more active, more outgoing. Learn how to bring emotions out in men and the main emotion of the Fire is joy.
❦ Learn to flirt and be playful. Remember, this is just fun practice and you don’t have to be perfect. Just relax and play. Allow yourself that wonderful feeling or flirtiness and being in love at the very beginning. To help with that you may need to identify and work with your fears and the feeling of self-confidence.
❦ Use a lot, a lot of candles, fragrances, incenses, go to saunas and take hot baths, spend time by the fireplace. All of these things bring heat and fire in life.
❦ Learn how to find and observe beauty, how to create a beautiful and cozy space around yourself, and then – invite a man there. It does not have to be the evening that would end up with intimacy.
The most important thing to remember: Fire woman is a prize for a man, not a gift. She never just offers herself to anybody.
In the next article, we will be discussing the element of Earth that is a feminine archetype of a Housewife.