«It is important to remember that the standard of femininity and beauty in Europe was destroyed during Middle Ages times of the witch hunts. The main accusation towards the woman back then was that she makes men go crazy, which is just basically, expressing her femininity. Modern women deep down inside still “remember” this idea that expressing femininity or being beautiful is dangerous, and you can die because of this. As a consequence, there are neglect and indifference towards fashion and makeup.
In America there was a period of time where a glimpse of femininity came up as a way to protest against the Old World, however now it is very vague and far from reality: the whole nation is suffering from obesity, skinny women are on top of things. As a way of saying that the standard of femininity is not available to women, so don’t even try.” – Olga Pletka, Ukranian psychologist
While it may be hard to define, what exactly femininity is, there are certain things that can definitely destroy our feminine essence. Let’s go ahead and take a look at them.
Destroyers of Femininity
1. Hustle and bustle
It creates tension in the whole body, in the mind, and in emotions. It does not promote full satisfaction which means there will be no relaxation, which destructs gentle feminine nervous and hormonal systems.
2. Too much social activity
When a woman is socially very active it is almost always a sign that she lacks love in her life. It is more beneficial for a woman to find a job that will bring her happiness and let her have rest from family duties. It will also allow her to expand her circle of friends.
3. Work that does not bring joy
One of the main mistakes a woman makes is when she does what she does not enjoy. Why is that? Because in this situation a woman has to overcome obstacles, which is not a feminine activity. Even if her work is for women, but it takes too much time, this takes away her energy. When she goes to that kind of work, it takes away her femininity.
4. Too much communication outside of family and comfort zone
Man has a personal growth through struggles and competition, by communication to those who may not be pleasant, where there is not much love. For a woman to be outside of a comfort zone too much is actually not very beneficial. This depletes her subtle energy. When a woman communicates mostly with the loved ones, her female power grows.
5. Manly haircuts
Hair is a true accumulator of energy, especially of a subtle one. It is very beneficial to take care of the hair. Short haircuts do not increase femininity. They are practical but practicality is a word from man’s world.
6. Pants
The main way of accumulating the energy for a woman is down from the earth. Long skirts and dresses can always help with that. When a woman wears pants, the earth’s energy dissipates very quickly. The absence of a real closet does the same thing because the closet for a man does not really mean anything when for a woman it is the whole world.
7. Ignorance of the body
Everything the woman goes through is going through her body, and that is where she feels everything, with her body sensations. A tensed body does not bring happiness. Taking care of the body is a sacred duty of a woman.
8. Absence of jewelry
Every woman knows how jewelry can greatly improve her mood. It does not matter whether it is diamonds or not, everything will benefit her femininity.
9. Absence of a hobby
It is important for a woman to have something to do that brings her joy, something pleasant to her heart and soul. And it doesn’t have to bring money but emotional comfort and satisfaction. It is better when a man supports a woman in her hobbies and lets her have time to do it.
10. Emotional stagnation
If a woman does not express her emotions, this can cause depression. Some women think that they are only allowed to always have a good mood, but it is not true. Women are not robots. It is good when she has someone besides with whom she can express her emotions freely.
11. Attempt to lead
While a woman can be a great leader, but it is better not to do that at all. This is simply not her nature. Women should inspire. Ideally, a man should be the one who makes the decision on everything that goes outside of the house so that she doesn’t have to have headaches about anything.
12. Absence of creativity
The nature of a woman is to improve and beautify the space, to create a cozy and comfortable place. Flowers, vases, curtains, paintings, all of these create a charming atmosphere. This is a piece of the universe where a woman can completely and at all times express her creativity.
13. Conflicts
The energy of a woman gets rough in conflicts, especially with men. A woman becomes rougher herself when she does that. Wise women know that being humble is what gives them what they want from men.
14. Absence of female chores
Chores are not a real burden for women. On the contrary, they improve her feminine nature, increase her desire to take care of everyone. If she delegates all the chores to a housekeeper, she makes a big mistake. At least, cooking for family members is something that would be a great practice of femininity.
15. Competition
Feminine nature destroys the competition. There is no need to fight for something or prove something. The key is to surrender.
16. Male duties
Moving furniture, enterprise management, earning for a whole family, taking credits and loans – all of these are male duties and women should not participate.
17. Pride
“I can do it all myself, no need to lose dignity and ask someone” is a straight sign of pride. Another sign is when a woman thinks she can do better or faster. This kind of mentality decreases femininity.
18. Independence
Power, control, and persistence are great destroyers of femininity.
19. Stereotypical life
Living with stereotypes because this is the way everybody does things, or because this how everybody was taught kills creativity. Everything a woman does is done with love. And love is always spontaneous.
20. Attachment to the final result
A wise woman is happy with what she already has. From this state of satisfaction woman always receives beautiful gifts from life. This is a consequence of Abundance Thinking. When a woman attaches to something that brings her pleasure and suffers from its absence, she develops a state of lacking which in turn brings negative emotions like fear or anger. All of that can destroy a woman’s psyche.
21. Male activities
Activities, sports, and recreation that have male nature of energy develop competition in women. Her nature is the opposite of that – taking care of things and collaborating.
22. Complaining
Complaining is an attempt to escape responsibility. It is very easy to delegate this responsibility to someone else and blame them for problems. It is very beneficial for a woman to speak out about what she feels and ask for help. The difference between complaining and asking is in the mood. A woman is asking for a bit of advice and not simply states the fact.
23. Absence of personal free time
Time for yourself or even for some silly girls things is in fact crucial. It is important to spend time and sometimes money on something silly 😉
24. Absence of girlfriends
Woman benefits from having friends of the female gender. This is when she can be completely open about herself.
25. Absence of sleep
If a woman goes to sleep late, she wakes up late. Which in turn contributes to the lack of femininity. Ideally, every woman should have her own bedroom when she can always have enough rest.
It was inspiring to read this article. When I was a young woman, I would have been offended by these ideas. Now that I am 63, and have passed through many stages of life and womanhood, I see wisdom in these ideas. Thank you for bringing a feminine point of view, feminine wisdom, into the chaos of our world.
Thank you so much for your comment, Claudia <3 This is what I am usually facing when trying to share things like that - offense or anger. However, I feel in my guts that this is what needs to be shared and this website is my humble attempt to remind all the beautiful women about who they really are and meant to be. 🙂 I would appreciate you sharing it with all the women who are dear to you, too.
Everybody has feminine and masculine energy that they channel when completing different tasks. Sure, facing adversities and working towards a goal has “masculine” energy but that doesn’t mean that it should be left to a man to do?!? A woman can be in touch with both her feminine and masculine, in fact that is ideal in today’s society. All women should work towards what they want in life, be independent, not rely on men. Crap like this is why people think femmes are inferior to men. So women shouldn’t be independent because “power control and persistence aren’t feminine”… so what are you telling us to do? Sit on our asses and wait for men to do everything for us? This is such a gross, misogynistic take on what femininity should be, and I’m ashamed FOR you, putting this image of women on the internet, for young impressionable girls to see.
Hello! Thank you for your comment. I absolutely agree with you – we all have masculine and feminine energy. We all need both of it depending on the circumstances we are in. For a woman, naturally and more energy-efficient would be better to be more in her feminine following the ratio of about 20% masculine and 80% feminine. This will actually empower her even more as it will allow her to naturally follow her feminine rhythms, tap into her health, her energy in relationships, her creative potential in what she can do in this world. This is just a different kind of power that we forgot. Both men and women have their roles, and their amazing gifts they can both offer each other and society.
This has to be bait, seriously. Good job if pissing people off is what this article was meant to do, because this is dogshit ????
I’m sorry it made you feel this. This was not the intention.
I am not 63, but I am old enough to no longer be offended by these ideas. Why? Because I have hustled, suffered through sleep deprivation, and taken too much on my own. It doesn’t make women happy. Now that I have man who *enjoys* helping me, life is getting easier. Sure, I technically can do it all on my own, but then life is a tiring, lonely struggle. I agree that 20% masculine energy is needed to have some momentum, but these days women are more pushed to have 60-80% of this.
Hi,
I really enjoyed the insights you shared in this article. I have noticed how differently I feel as a woman for already practising some of these behaviours. I’m looking forward to reading more of your articles:))
Hello Ayesha. I am so happy to read this! Thank you so much for your sweet message, that’s what inspires me to write more. <3
I love reading your articles as they are very relaxing. However, I disagree with some of the points here. Femininity is to be your true authentic self and do what brings you utmost joy. For example, I have always been quite sporty. It is something that genuinely makes me happy and adds to me as a person and woman. Some of the points here are very generalized.
Thank you. Yes, femininity is definitely about joy. You can absolutely do anything you want, as long as it makes you happy as a woman.
Life is hard for women, and not having a supportive partner, especially when you have kids, the masculine energy dominates, and that where stress kicks in and everything goes out of balance, what i have learned from this article is that women are not built to tolerate too much stress, physically emotionally, mentally. My own experience is that when i push myself to the limit, my hormons go off balance, my mental health is affected, i gain alot of weight, and i get all sort of infections, i loose all confidence, the article is right, but the society does not create an environment suitable for women to be feminine.
Hi Lizzy! You got it exactly right. I have the latest article about it too. Yes, society is very much male-oriented however there are ways to survive as a feminine woman 😉
I agree with all these points. Some of them are eye opener.
Thank you for your efforts on writing these lovely articles 😉
Hi Lily! This makes me very happy, thank you too!