How to Balance Feminine and Masculine Energy

Let’s start with the clarification. Energy on its own cannot be just feminine or just masculine. It does not have a gender, or gender polarity, simply because it is just energy.

When we say “masculine energy” or “feminine energy”, we refer to the ways that energy is being manifested in the world. Depending on the body we have, the situation we are in and many other factors, the energy can become masculine or feminine.

The subject of femininity and masculinity is definitely one of the hottest one lately. And if we become too obsessed with one or another, this can create disbalance. So moderation is always the key, like always. I would like to mention a few situations when one or another energy is being manifested more obviously, and what the consequences of this may be.

Too much femininity

In the event when there is a lot of feminine energy, we get caught in the energetic swamp. We get lazy, unmotivated, and unproductive. We don’t want anything and just let everything happen on its own. This can be good, if you look at it from the perspective of going with the flow lifestyle. However too much of it can be destructive. When you have too much of feminine energy, your life loses its colors, you have no desires and constantly stay in a deep, dark Yin and melancholy.

Too much masculinity

In this case you almost constantly fighting – with the world and with yourself. From fight to fight, everything seems like a win or lose situation, and you go from one extreme to another. Everything is mostly black or white, and this constant movement usually does not have a clear direction, but a chaotic jumping from one area to another.

Balanced feminine and masculine

Wise nature made us perfectly balanced, supplying us with both energies – masculine and feminine. We all have it and the key is to find a good middle ground between the two and use both energies wisely. In terms of percentage, the ideal one for a woman would be about 70-80% of feminine energy and about 20% of masculine energy. We still need this Yang active energy to be able to move forward and fulfill our dreams.

Feminine energy looks very harmonious. It consists of inspiration, creativity, pleasure, softness, warmth, ease and enjoyment.

Masculine energy is goal-oriented. It consists of courage, determination, aggression, structure, precision and sense of purpose.

If we combine these two energies and use them wisely, our life will definitely be more balanced and fulfilled. We will feel more alive and driven. But how do we know which energy in every moment is more dominant? How do we catch that feeling? It is easy. We just need to remember that the main way that feminine energy manifests itself is through the flow. Imagine a flow of water, or a waterfall, or a fountain. It bursts outside and covers everything around it. It is abundant and does not have a clear direction. It relaxes us. As oppose to the masculine energy that is always directed into one spot. It motivates us to take the next step, to make that decision, to move forward.

Here are 6 things you can do to balance the energy and make it go from one polarity to another, depending on the situation.

1. Hair

It is amazing how different we can feel with different hair styles. Every time I need more energy to finish a project, or when I need to feel more determined and put together, I make something like a bun or a braid. Hair that is not lose does not allow you to feel lose too. Try it, it works like magic. With lose hair, your share your energy generously with all the people around you. Think of when it is okay to do that (time spent with family, loved ones) and when it is may be better to keep it to yourself (public places, nightclubs, hospitals). Speaking of the bun. To be more masculine, make a high bun. To be more feminine or neutral, make a low bun.

2. Clothes

If you need to be more direct and motivated, wear pants. Every single time I need some more confidence, I just put pants on and go conquer the world. That being sad, I am actually not a fan pants and only have 2-3 pair of them, including jeans. A few years ago I ditched them all without any regret and dove into the world of femininity, full of skirts and dresses. It was lovely. However, it is a good idea to keep a couple pants in case if you need that extra confidence on job interview, or when you are trying to break up with your boyfriend (Yup, I really did wear pants that day).

Just in general, all men’s type of clothing will work the same way – shirt, sweaters, boots. When you are too stressed and run down, and need some break, try to put some flowy skirts and cute dresses. It will soften you and give you a breather. Just feel what do you need to wear today. Trusting your intuition is always the best bet.

3. Problem solving

This area can be a very good indicator of where you are now and what needs to be changed. Whether you need to move to a more Yang side of the question, or become more Yin. Let me explain. When you find yourself in some difficult situation, how do you usually act – do you wait until it resolves on its own, or you try your best to find the solution no matter the circumstances? As you may have guessed, the former one is a feminine polarity, the latter – masculine. While both can be good depending on the situation, make sure you chose wisely.

It is okay to wait and let the world resolve the issue magically, because this can actually happen. However, if you chose to do so every time, keep waiting, making plans but don’t fulfill them, or waiting for better timing/season/circumstance/Monday/New Year, you are in a deep Yin. That means you need that definite step to move, acting from masculine energy. And if you keep bumping into the wall, sacrificing everything, fighting the whole world endlessly, maybe it is time to take a break and breathe? Because you may be in a very strong Yang, and all you need is soft pause with feminine energy, and the solution will reveal itself.

4. Scents

This is a very fun way to quickly pump yourself up with a necessary energy. And I think most women intuitively know it since the beginning of times, using perfume. For a romantic date you naturally chose soft, feminine floral scents like rose, jasmine or lily. However, if you are getting ready for a business meeting, you can use scents like musk, leather, coffee or wood to boost your confidence. You may even get yourself a bottle of man’s cologne and use a micro dose of it when you need to feel more grounded. You can also apply the same principles to using the scents at home – in diffusers or candles, for example.

5. Food

Food is indeed very versatile and can certainly affect our mood. In ancient healing systems like Ayurveda or Traditional Chinese Medicine foods are divided to more yin/feminine ones and more yang/masculine ones. Depending on the health condition and season you may regulate your energies by choosing correct food. In brief, for more femininity eat fruits, sweets and dairy. I have talked about it in details in my other article. These “feminine” foods relaxes you. “Masculine foods generally have bitter taste: dark chocolate, coffee, black pepper gives you more determined type of the mood and allows you to focus better. And by the way, alcohol is actually a yin type of the food. It creates a false sense of relaxation. So if you feel the need to consume it often, it is time to address the stress in your life and slow down because you crave yin energy.

6. Body practices

There are plenty of them out there, you just need to pick a favorite. Here are two practices you can do, depending on the energy you need.

Feminine practices has anything to do with belly – belly breathing, belly dancing, belly massage. This area is where the womb is located so naturally you would want to pay attention to it. One basic practice is a simple deep belly breathing you can do daily, or whenever you need to feel more womanly. Just sit down and breathe deeply into your belly, not your chest. The trick is to inhale deeper and slower, and visualize how the air goes in your belly, and expand it. This exercise alone is already enough if you want to become softer, gentler and more relaxed.

Masculine practices are all about getting out of the comfort zone. This can be anything small from changing your daily regimen, to something bigger like bungee jumping. Pick your adventure. The idea is to get yourself out of the repetitive state and kind of wake yourself up with a hot, sudden Yang energy. All kinds of self-discipline is also very masculine oriented – fasting, dieting, early rising, lots of exercising. Just make sure you don’t go overboard. Remember, that you are still a woman.

In general, please follow your intuition. No one can really tell you what is the best thing to do other than yourself. But knowing the tools can definitely help. Stay in balance and your own middle ground and play with energies depending on the situation, season, mood and sensations. Flexibility after all is our main feminine quality.